As I cycled my way home today, I’ve been constantly thinking about a huge dilemma I have.. It would mean the world to me if you could comment in the comment box below, telling me your opinion about it, anonymously or not.
First some thing you need to know about me:
I’m the kind of girl that wants to be more than just good in everything I start voluntarily. For example: My twitter account. I created my twitter account in 2009 I think? Firstly, to try to get in touch with Justin Bieber. I know this sounds stupid and unrealistic, but I’m a really dedicated belieber if you didn’t know yet. Many people probably think “Yeah right, as if you think you can actually get in touch with him”. All I want to say to those people is “Never Say Never”, because guess what? He followed me. It’s not exactly the same as getting in touch with him, but he DID notice me. I’m really thankful for that and I know that there are many girls who would love to be me, because he hasn’t noticed them yet. But after this (in my eyes) ‘miracle’, my goal on twitter changed. It wasn’t about getting noticed anymore, nor about supporting Justin.. It was about getting a huge amount of followers. I did pretty much everything to reach a huge amount by doing retweets for retweets, 5 followers for 5 followers up to 50 followers for 50 followers. (if you don’t know what this means: It’s getting someone 5-50 followers for 5-50 followers in return, that he or she will gain you by giving you shoutouts and stuff like that) My number of followers is currently 10,673. Unfortunately I lost 300+ followers by not tweeting, because I just don’t have enough time for that, but oh well, it’s still a huge amount right? All, simply because I wanted to be really good in twitter/tweeting..
Same story goes for my tumblr account: Firstly to express my passion for fashion, but later on, it was all about the follower amount. And I can tell you, I’m pretty good in gaining followers to be honest. Current number of followers: 6,881 since october 2010.
I did work hard for those accounts, but still, was it a waist of time or was it all worth it? I actually have no idea..
I started this blog november the first. About 300 people click on my blog every day, and I don’t even know why, because I’m not even that good. I really really do like blogging here, and above of that, it’s also good for my english, right? I’m just scared that it will become just like all the other accounts I run. The only reason why I still go on tumblr and twitter is because I dislike getting unfollowers. It feels as if someone screams in my face that I’m just a piece of crap..
When I’m older, I want to become a doctor. There’s nothing else I want more.. It’s hard to study medicines in my country, unless your average grade is an 8. Unfortunately mine is approximately a 6. Not because I can’t get higher grades, but because I don’t spend enough time studying. I spend my time to go on tumblr and twitter, to write posts for my blog and to take photographs. I spend my time to eat, eat a lot and then sit down and think, regretting everything I put in my mouth. I spend my time to talk with friends and look at people’s profiles on Facebook, to watch TV and to play hockey, because thats what I like doing. And even though I’m already super busy with all these things I want to do more, but I just don’t have the time for those activities. I’m scared that all these unimportant things, comparing to school, will take over my life, more than they already did. But on the other hand, I really like doing them..
I just got a job in a restaurant, which will take time and other than that, I want to get an gym membership.
You’re probably thinking: “Well, just quit tumblr and twitter and focus more on school”. But that would hurt me as well. I will get tons of unfollowers, something that seems nothing to you, means a lot to me. I’ve spend days trying to gain more and I could lose all of it by not logging in anymore. There’s also not such a thing as going on less.. I know that I’m not able to stop when half an hour is over. I’ll stop when I think I did enough for that account that day. Should I quit blogging? or give away my tumblr account? Or just not post anything on tumblr and tweet on twitter anymore and try to deal with the fact that I will get tons of unfollowers, which meant that I’ve waisted the last couple of years? Or only stop one of the websites I’ve got an account on?
If I’ll decide to quit blogging on wordpress, then it will be after the giveaway, don’t worry about that. Just please, tell me what you think! Please
I know that this is a problem only I deal with, but it would mean the world if you helped me or gave me advise.